im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
