like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She told me I should be a condom model.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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