there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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