I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
