So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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