Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize