When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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