i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
pop tarts are not kleenex
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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