glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize