so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
