What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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