Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just sent this text using only my big toe
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
