how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
