Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize