i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
