yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
