This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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