I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
