He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
