I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize