What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
