it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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