Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
