we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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