Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
