No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
