so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
