If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
