Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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