she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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