let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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