when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
