Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
