Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
