Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Ketchup is God's man juice
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
