Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
