That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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