OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
