Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
