I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
