Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
