Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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