sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize