just tell him i said nine months
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
