just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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