the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
