I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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