I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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