i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
