JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My cat gives me a boner
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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