after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
