I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
