Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
