You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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