Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
