Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I understand Curling. That high.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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