We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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