Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize