If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize