I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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