i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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