Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize