if i died would you start the facebook group?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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