So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
