god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
