I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
