It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
