even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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