I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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