Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
