I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize