i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
