he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just invented taco cereal.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
