Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Watching her eat just hurts me
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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