Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize