So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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