Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I skipped work to stalk him.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
