I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
