his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
