U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
