i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Can you bring me the toilet please
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
