We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
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