3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
