she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize