I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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