The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
