I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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